About Life, Desires, and Dreams

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She has lived her entire life in fear. She was always in fear of losing something. However, her fear is gone, and she has become fearless since she has lost the love of her life. The entire of her life, she has one dream. She has lived her entire life on one hope. Now she neither has the dream nor the desire. She did not lost them; However, her desire and dream are stolen or snatched from her if you see it realistically. Why she is not fear of losing anything? It is very simple to understand. The person fears of losing something only if he or she has something to lose. What else she would lose? There is nothing left for her to lose. Even she has lost her routine. She has lost herself what else could be more important. The friend advises her to every day be selfish and think about yourself first. She has lost everything, and she is not agreed to lose the certain principle of her life. She refuses to become a selfish person.

Let’s talk about relationship, family, desires, life, and dreams. Once she had a dream of having a family. She always believed in a serious relationship. Not all but most of the humans have four stages of life or you can divide into 4 different parts on the base of the expected average of women’s lives in the USA which ranges from 76 to 81 years. The first stage of her life being a child and then teenager, she had lived a wonderful life which is accountable for 16 years of her life. The relationship and family were so important to her. She never had a big family, but she never hesitate to share the love of her parents with her non-biological sister. However, her sister was older enough to be her mother. She was 4-5 years old when her sister got married. Even she got the best childhood life to compare to others, but she always had a desire to have a big family. She had a desire of having many brothers or sisters so she will be never alone. One by one her family is gone to heaven, in which some are gone on time while another gone early. Her desire had become hope. She hoped to have a big in-law family. She could not get big blood-related family, but she expected to have a family on the base of the relationship. However, her desire already died when she hardly reached 16 but hope was still there.

The second part of her life was miserable, in which she spent a hell of a life. It was a worse part of her life but not a nightmare. However, the hope had made her achieve some wonderful opportunity. This was a temporary phase of her life which lasted more than a decade. She struggled but had not lost her dignity or self-respect. She worked hard to challenge any obstacles because there were a hope and a dream. She had become a fighter. In this phase of her life, people started to stab her mind and feelings. This was the phase when she realized that a family and relationship don’t have to have a blood relationship. So, she lived in hope and had developed a new dream. The dream and hope every individual wish to have it. Every day she thought that her dreams would become true one day. In this phase, it came in her mind that a person could buy a relationship if he or she is willing to pay the price of it. Yes, she had paid the price to keep the relationship alive. All she knows her trust was gone in this phase of her life. The people had turned their backs toward her when hardship came in her life. It was a worse phase but not impossible though. Her soul was hammered many times by her own people.

She has entered the 2nd part of the 2nd phase of her life. Her dream came true and she had become the happiest woman on the earth. The fear had redeveloped in this phase because she had held the most valuable part of her life. She met a man of her dream. She fell in love with him. She has loved his soul. The relationship was just built on trust, faith, and love. She was in deep love. The desire has redeveloped when she had noticed that hope and dream had won. She was totally forgetting the first half of the 2nd phase of her life. The broken relationship and trust started to rebuild. Again, she wanted to have a family and wished to die as his widows.

Afterward, she had entered the first part of the 3rd phase of life. This was an actually worse nightmare of her life. She has lost trust, faith, and love. The fear had come true. Mercilessly, people had taken everything away from her. No, we are not talking about only a relationship or a family. She was hammered back and forth continuously. There was always a hidden attack. This was the time when she lost her personality, self-confidence, health, and her career. She had become a loser in this phase of her life. She had learned that there is no humanity, no family or friends. She was used and abused both mentally and financially. Everybody had taken advantages of her situation.

She is in her 2nd part of the 3rd phase of life right now. She doesn’t have any desires, dreams, and hopes. She had seen so much in her second phase of the life that she lost trust in anything. She lost her desire for having a family or relationship circle. Everything she noticed was a fraud. She had met the biggest beggar of her life who only knows how to take but not give. In this phase of her life, she realized that she is much stronger compared to others. She had become looser but also came to her knowledge that she is stronger than many others. She is a lone fighter who has lost her life but continue to win. Sometimes, the loser is an actual winner. She was not dumped but instead, she was blackmailed. People have taken advantages of her weakness. Everybody has some weakness, so she does. In this phase, she also learned that what is the importance of family values in this modern era. She also learned the modern era is also an era of darkness. Nobody minds stabbing somebody for their own greed. People let other people die Infront of them due to their selfishness. The definition of family has changed. She says, “I don’t want a family if this is the truth of the family. I will rather die alone. I will rather die with a stab wound on my chest instead of on my back. I refuse to be part of family politics”.

She is married to his soul. But she refuses to be such a wife who stabs her husband indirectly. She refused to be the part of that family where everything is on the sale or in the black market. The family and relationship are on the base of loving and caring behavior but not being afraid of being threatened.

She says, “ I don’t want to blink my eyes when I see myself in the mirror. I have done nothing except loving my soul which is not a sin. It is not a lust because lust doesn’t have an age. I don’t want to afraid when I will see my killers because I have not done anything wrong. I don’t want to hide either”.

Once she used to share with somebody but now there is no trust or faith. She shares with the words instead of the voice. She doesn’t have any desire, hope, or dreams anymore. She has entered the 4th phase of life more than 25 years early than it is usually expected. She doesn’t have a fear of losing anything which has become the reason to break her routine. She laughs when somebody talks about being a relative or family. All she says, “seriously, are you kidding me? I don’t need it. I am so good especially after dealing and knowing the definition of family”.

The relationship and family are built on the trust and faith but not by keeping the knife on somebody’s neck. Humanity and morality are also gone along with faith, trust, and honesty. She says, “I will write instead of talking. I would love to have hate than love. I am good to be a lone fighter who will fight with her own demon every day”. Where is everything gone? Everything is snatched or stolen instead of gone or lost. Everything was taken on the game of fairness and blackmail. Love is the only thing which makes you gamble your own emotions and sacrifices your own life. The gambling and scarifying your own life is not easy. It is a matter of all sacrifice and courage.

She sits on her favorite place and thinks,” what else I will lose more. What else will be stolen from her?”

She answers her self; “Nothing”.

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