She opens the curtain of her window and looks around. She looks up and sees a sky full of dark black clouds. She looks down and sees green lushly trees and grass. Combination of greenery and dark clouds make nature so beautiful. Nature is quiet. Her mind is quiet too. She is neither smiling nor crying. She is sad but she is not impulsive. She wants to share the beauty of nature with him but she can’t. She prays to the Almighty,” Babaji, Babaji, I want to talk with my Bubby. I miss him”. Nature is beautiful but it has not brought the smile on her face. The house looks empty and quiet than it should be.
Her life was derailed since Abu died. She was teenager at that time. Before his death, she used to smile, laugh, and talk then everything suddenly changed. She was sad but always had a hope that her bubby will come one day and he will bring her happiness back. It was her firm faith and belief. Of course, he came after a long time of wait. You could see smile on her face. You could see the brightness in her eyes. She had smiled from the bottom of her heart. Often a fear come in her mind that someone would take him away. He always said, “Have a faith Munna.” she listened to him. All she did talk to him. She talked and laughed to complete all those years which she had spent without him. She did have faith in him more than almighty. She had forgotten her pain. She had forgotten her sorrows. She forgot about the rest of the world.
She got happy and excited stepping into his steps. She had followed his path. The karma was waiting to strike on her luck silently. She could sense it but could not figure it out what would happen. Then he was gone suddenly in 2 hrs. Her life has gone upside down since. It is completely derailed this time. She blames him for everything. She always says,” he is my bubby. I have a right to blame him even for my mistakes”.
People who care about her, who see her crying, who see her in misery, always advise her to move forward. She listens to everyone but she thinks,” I don’t know what do you mean to move forward”. All she knows that how to wait for him. She has a firm belief that her bubby will return one day. She thinks that he will come to her grave if he could not come while she is alive. All she could do to wait for him.
She says,” I waited for him before, I will wait again. I have firm faith in God and Bubby that he will come again. I will laugh again from the bottom of my heart”.
People has abused her. People has humiliated her. People has insulted her. She have tolerated everything. She does not blame others for her humiliation and insult but she blames him. His cowardliness has given everyone the chance to insult her. He could not stop it so she did not care anymore. A man is responsible to care about the woman in her culture, so that is his gift to her. He has given her so much pain than love.
She says,” Bubby I miss you mucho, I love you mucho”. All this had happened and he is gone a long time ago but her love has not lessened. It has the same intensity, passion, and compassion. She talks to him in her mind all the time, “bubby, I will wait for you forever. I know that you will be back again. We will talk a lot. I know that you will visit my graveyard if could not meet me while I am alive. My eyes will wait for you. My ears will be always open to hear your voice. You were right that it does not matter if we won’t able to see each other but our love will be always alive. Soul love never dies. Somebody called me jihadi . It happens because of you. I was never be on social media if you were not left me alone. . Sis has taunted me when she read about the jihadi comment. But I get used to all this. So I did not say anything to her”.
She hopes the communication in the Valley will resume soon so she can talk to her family and friends.