The living in the hell is a reward given to her by her beloved man. Once he promised taking all the sorrows away her and will give her happiest life forever but he has given a hell of a life.
The IPS officer has proven her right that she is not the only one who believes in soul love, and she is not crazy. She just believes in a soul love, which is a full of passion and compassion. However, the people call the person, “Insane” if he or she talks about soul love in this dark era. The man who had made a promise that he would give her a family, had made her completely alone. He wanted her to go away from the imaginary friends but he is the one who pushed her back into the edge to live with the imaginary friends and some dead souls. Her two thieves are gone and she has lost her trust and interest in another two thieves.
She tells her Bubby, “I am not alone. I don’t feel alone because I live in a full house of imaginary friends and dead souls. Yes, I do miss you and often I go to search my other part of the soul which is you”.
Now, she lives this life with two different personalities. One personality reflects a hardcore woman who has to fight to make a difference in others. That personality lives only for 12 hrs. Other personalities come right away when she leaves the work, which show a weak woman who could not hide her tears. How much time she spends with her soul husband. Nobody could imagine this one. He lives in her brain. She constantly talks to him. It does not matter if she talks to others at the same time. She smiles and cries at the same time. Nobody could estimate the pain she suffers. She blames only him for everything because he should do his job being a man of the house. He should make decisions to provide equal justice as he used to say and did in the past. She wonders how he does his job which also includes law and justice.
She has the ability to sense certain things in advance. She senses something but she will stay silent. Short term Memory getting worse day by day but not long term. She still able to recall each moments she has spent with him. Well, this was her desire when she leaves this world only take his memories with her.
She asks others, “Is this normal waking up with a loud scream?” Who should know better than her but she refuses to admit that she suffers from PTSD. First, her aim was continue to work other five years, but she has to change her mind about this. She is ready to give up now. She is afraid that her two personalities could clash with each other any times. So she has turned her resignation today.
Her entire life has went upside down. Sometimes she wonders if he ever thinks about her. Does he ever think of how she is suffering without him? She doubts he ever thinks about it. Yes, he treated her as a thing and animal. But suddenly her mind turns and think no, he doesn’t have a choice. He wants peace. He doesn’t want someone yelling at him all the time. He just becomes so weak to handle all the stress and yelling so he has decided to make her cry and give her a hell life, and take all the humiliation and insult. She forgets her special vocabulary. She avoids those words which she just used with him. He used to love it when she talked in her style. She changed her style since he is gone.
She doesn’t run to find the reality anymore. She have learned how to live with a fake smile and imaginary friends. Her tears only are for her now. Her eyesight can tell how she pay the price of her tears. However, the eyes know better who will pay the price of those tears at the end. She loves him with the same intensity the way she used to do it. The reason is very clear that she believes in a soul love which does not matter where he or she lives. It does not matter if they talk or not. However, she feels his presence all the times. She talks to him all the time because he lives inside of her. She takes everyone’s advice: time will heal or The almighty will help her to relieve her pain but she knows her pain is permanent until the next life.
She tells Ina boy, “hey, he is scared of me. The good thing is that I will go to heaven or become an angel just like you to help someone as you help me. He is my perfect devil and will go to hell along with others” . She gets happy and cleans her tears.