The imaginary friend # 1, “why you look different today. You seem little upset”.
She tells her friends, “No, I am not upset. Just trying to pay attention to drive safely”.
The Imaginary friend # 2, “You can lie to anybody but not us”.
The imaginary friend # 1, “You know us well. We will not leave you until the truth come out of you. It is okay to share with us. We are not human to take the disadvantage of you”.
She says to both friends, “well, the certain things stay in mind which we never forget”.
She continues to tell her friends, “Do you guys know when I was in a primary school. My teacher had sat on the chair with one leg top of her other knee. She had worn a high heel shoe. She tried to get out of the chair and accidentally hit my right ear with her high heel. The teacher never said sorry even I had cried in the pain”.
The imaginary friend #2, “Yes, I remember that particular event. You were in 4th grade if my memory is good enough. You know that the teacher in India used to think that time, “they are Gurus, so they will never ask sorry for those things”. However, what is the connection of this moody face with this story”.
Sara continues the talking, “Only connection is that I won’t forget the certain things, and this is one of them.
The imaginary friend # 1 asks, “so, there is something in your mind which disturb you and you have not shared with us yet. Don’t we have an agreement that we won’t hide anything from each other”?
She says, “Okay, an agreement and promises but don’t we make them to break it. One day of life which I never forget come in my mind often. It was 12-20-2018 to 12-21-2018. He came to visit me. He was in a uniform. I really don’t why he came to visit me. I don’t care now why he came to visit me but it does come in my mind. I could not figure it out if he came to love me or hate me. As usual, he had fed me with his own hands. He yelled with love, “why you don’t eat. Look at yourself?’. I remember he put the food into my mouth and force me to eat. I don’t know if he had felt guilty or his usual caring behavior. He told me, “she is also my wife”. I asked him, “How about me bubby. I am also your wife. Who would take care of me”? He did not have an answer for me. He came into my room and wished to make love with me. He had kissed me and hugged me. He told me that he would come to meet me tonight. He also slapped me. This is the first time he had raised his hand on me”.
The imaginary friend # 1 interrupted her right away, “are you kidding me? Did you allow him to slap you? Are you the same one we knew you from the childhood who can hold the people from the neck? Well, your parents just wasted their money and time to give you all those tactical training. Aren’t you trained to defend yourself?”
The imaginary friend # 2 yells at friend # 1, “Can you just listen to her? There could be some reason behind it. Okay, Munna continues to tell what happens next”.
She continues, “This is the first time he admitted that I love him more he does to me. Otherwise, he used to say that he loves me more than I do to him. He slapped me because he was angry at me why I had exposed him? Why I am not eating? Why I am drowning myself? He slapped me with a mixed feeling of love and anger. He made a promise to return at night. He had make sure if I eat. He checked my purse to make sure if I had an Indian currency”
The imaginary friend is still not convinced and not happy with her but still asks, “Did he came back? Anyway he know that you still don’t eat more than once in 24 hrs, and you don’t eat at all while you at home. You just live on the water and tea. Where is he now. The man without guts. I wish we could meet him. I wish your mother was alive. she was the only who were able to teach him a lesson that his next generation were going to forget how to betray or love.”.
Her eyes fell with the tears and start to shed out of her eyes, “No, he called to inform me that they won’t allow him to leave the house. My so-called sis won’t let him come out. I waited and I am continuing to wait even I know he will never come. I have made a promise with him that I will wait for him forever. I will continue to keep my promise. You guys know well that I have not played with him”.
The next morning, I had to return to Delhi. I really don’t recall who arranged the Taxi. I waited for him at the airport. I was not allowed to stop anywhere. His phone was turned off. Sitting in the taxi, my eyes were searching for him. I did not have any idea that I would ever return to this place. I did not know that my hubby bubby had abandoned me. I thought he had become a prisoner himself. Anyway, I continued to cry until I had reached the airport. At one place, there was a lot of CRPF personnel so I asked the driver to stop the car but he did not. He was a nice old man. He said, “I am sorry mam. I am not allowed to stop the car. I am a poor man and can’t disobey the orders. I have a family”.
The imaginary friend # 1, “why you wanted to stop there”.
She continues, “There was a river and those security people had guns. I was planning to grab their gun and make them to shoot me. My second thought was jumping into the river”
The imaginary friend #2, “were you out of your mind. How many times we had told you that nobody could be great as your Abu and Father. Why did you think that your protector will be somebody else except your Abu? Your protector had died protecting others. He was a true warrior. This is a darkness era. People are just greedy. They won’t hesitate to take disadvantages of the sick person”
The imaginary friend # 1 interrupt friend # 2, “Let her tell what is in her mind. Whose knows when she tells next time if she stops talking now”
She continues telling them, “I was so weak. My brain was not thinking straight. I was so dizzy. My eyes were so foggy and I could not see clearly. The car stopped at the airport. I asked the driver how much I owed him. He called somebody. Then he told me that your bill has already paid. He handed me my passport and the baggage, and he was gone”
The imaginary friend # 1 asks surprisingly, “What you have just said. He handed you baggage and passport. Why he had your passport? Didn’t he know it is a federal crime holding US citizen’s passport or making a copy of USA passport?
She cries, “Okay, my brain was not functioning properly. I had not eaten for more than a month. I was confused and was in a shock stage”
The imaginary friend # 2, “Do you think that you are not confused now. Come out of the dark corner. Your counselor is right, ‘now or never’. Look at yourself.”
She ignores her friends. Her voice was heavy. You can figure it out that her tears shed out of her eyes but also, she is swallowing her tears. She continues, “I don’t recall how I reached inside the airport. I was still searching for him. Somebody came to help me. Maybe someone had seen me in the bad shape. A strange person had continued to follow me until I had reached the international airport. as I reached inside the airport that person who followed me, has pushed forcefully on my shoulder blade and I were almost going to fell on the floor. I really don’t know who was that person. Now often, this entire scene comes in front of my eyes. My eyes still search for my bubby. I wonder why I could see him in the same as had seen him last time”.
The imaginary friend # 1, “Why you did not tell all this incident to FBI. How many time John had asked you if anybody had mistreated you over there? At least you should know your so called husband just claimed to protect you as your mother, father, Abu, and brother. He used to say that he was everything to you and then abandoned you to die alone. I am glad now that you write everything. Can you just come out of that delusion now?’
She looks at her friends with her tearful eyes, “At least, can you guys understand me? I am not delusional. I am afraid that he would be punished the day I stop loving him”
Both friends yell at her same time, “oh my God, are you still worry about him? He is out of your life completely. He deserves to be punished”
She is not agreed with them, “No, this is mine and his fight. I don’t care if he is a bad person but he is my love. He is my hubby bubby. I have a right to say or write anything against him but nobody could say a single bad word to him. I don’t like those people who tell me that my bubby is a bad man”
Okay tell us one last thing What have you told at your new work when they asked about your relationship? She smiles, ” I have told them that I have a non-compliance husband who is scared of me”.
Three of them laugh loudly but there is a different quality of laugh. Her laugh is full with pain and tears which nobody could see it, in stead her friend also laugh but they are worried about her”.