Living with the dead souls is a unique and wonderful experience. Actually, those dead people don’t walk around you like a ghost. They are not your bodyguards to protect you. Actually, it is your feelings toward them. It is your good experiences with them. You were once loved by them. They had unconditionally cared you. You are not ready to leave those good feelings, love, and caring so you continue to live with the experience. Or nobody has given you such experience so you stuck to your old memories
The souls won’t encircle you. You just feel their presence. The presence of their love, support, encouragement, and teaching encircle you which lead you to make a decision. She calls it this experience, “Living with Some Souls”.
How about living with the souls of the people who are not dead yet. This is a little funny now. Sometimes, we don’t value when people are around us. We feel their importance when they are gone from our lives. There are many people with the good soul lives around her, but she has covered her both eyes. Her pain gets heavier when it comes to trust and faith. She starts ignoring the good living souls because she has lost her sense of security. She respects those living good souls but always avoids them or keep the distance.
So, don’t expect to see any ghost or the dead person walking in her home if you decide to visit her. Her house doesn’t look like a haunted house. Her house reflects the combination of a typical American house where some little reflection of the Kashmir Valley. Her house have walls but the walls are empty except one wall where her father’s portrait is. She never forget to see the portrait when she leaves the home. She never forget to see him when she returns. She continues to learn how to live with honesty when she faces some obstacles.
It is hard to digest, but she accepts the reality that those dead souls have left a great impression on her life. They have made her so strong. She fell but she made herself to get up due to the strong personality of those souls. Those were the good souls who had made a special different in her life. Everybody has contributed something to her personality. How she could leave those good souls. Almighty has separated those souls from their bodies but they still live inside of her in the form of some qualities which she has acquired from them.
She wants to continue live with those souls but everybody says, “forget, move forward”. How she could leave them now. How she could betray them now. Does she become so weak? Can’t she carry those souls with the rest of her life? A one person’s betrayal is not heavy to break the qualities of those good souls. His betrayal is not worthy compare to those dead souls.
Those good souls have taught her time to time. They were always with her during her hardship. She had faced every turmoil of her life with the support of those good souls. She loves it when she gets the dreams of her father, Abu, or uncle, or her doggy boy and Ina boy. She gets so happy when she sees them in her dreams. Her soul cries when she sees him in the dreams which she calls it, ’Nightmares’. How about ignoring his bad qualities but continue with some of his good qualities? Then his love gets heavier on her. She gets lost in a chakravyuh. It is a exact time when she looks toward those dead souls to get some advise.