In old timings, people used to have arranged marriage. It always creates curiosity about how those marriages are successful. My marriage was arranged and never fell in love with the man whom I was married for 7 years which I often named it, “An agreement”. He asked before he died if I ever love him. My answer was very straight, “Do you want me to lie?” He had made his choice to marry me so he knew well before the marriage what he was getting into. I was told that you learn to love each other when marriage is arranged. My own parents were North and South but they had a successful marriage. I called it successful because I never have seen both of them having an argument or it was a success because my father had spent most of his time traveling.
Nowadays, divorce and the separation rate start to climb up in the arrange marriage. I don’t know about others but mine was done on the base of materialism, so-called family values, traditions, caste, religion, sub-caste, equality, and status, etc. Now, I wonder where all those are gone. The night before my marriage, my mother had advised me, “Not to disgrace the family”. Yes, I was born in a family where you cannot talk against the parent’s well or decision. Only my father had a different belief because he had spent his entire life wondering from one country to another. His single vote never had any value in front of the entire tribe. Marrying somebody out of caste was not only possible but also was known as “disgrace”.
I and my non-biological sister had met only a few times in my entire life. She had spent more times with my family than me. Once she yelled at me when it came from my mouth suddenly, “I wonder why God has taken our so traditional and regulated family one by one to heaven or hell”. Of course, she had called me “Disgraced on the family” when she found out my relationship with him. She had given me the option to choose him or her. I had chosen him so she is gone from my life. Now, she read my blogs with the help of google translate to keep up-to-date on me.
My love marriage to him was postponed on the 10/20/2018. I have adopted some positive approach so I call it now, “Happened for something good”. I don’t know how many other people had get happy about this but I am quite sure about mother’s happiness. I could feel her heavenly happiness. She was never happy about my relationship with the Muslim person. The traditional and brave but racist soul had died five years ago. She hated him but he was the one who sent me to fulfill her last desire. Sometimes, I wonder which of my marriage was going to succeed. The arrange marriage if he was still alive or the love marriage which my soul lover wished to have his secret way but on the base of lies. Now, inside of me is scared from the name of marriage so does not matter if it was arranged or love marriage. Both my so-called sister and also my non-biological sister are very happy that I am not married to my soul lover. Most people get happy and excited when somebody gets married but it is different in my case. However, I will die in the curiosity which marriage would be succeeded.