Sadness and Restlessness

She smiles and then suddenly become sad. Slowly restlessness starts to follow both sadness and smile. Since this morning, she continues to miss something. She wants to go back there where she had lived with Ahmed. The month is early but Ramadan is the same. She was with Ahmed at this time. She plans to go to the same destination soon. She wants to house arrest in the same room and wants to write the book.

She wants to recall all those memories while walking on the bank of Sindh. Of course, Ahmed won’t be there to comb her hair, feed her with his hands, and pack her luggage. He won’t be there to cautious her not to drown into the fast-flowing water of Sindh. She always thinks that the flow of water is very slow but he never agrees.

Something else bothering her too. She misses her family. She thinks she could have parents again. Someone should be caring for her since Ahmed has left her but never return. Walking on the same roads alone once she walked with the Ahmed will be her next plan. She wants to feel it one more time. She wants to hurt again. She wants to see if she could tolerate the same pain. She is sad and restless because she remembers both his love and betrayal which often make her confused whether she love or hate him. This life shows many colors, in which nothing left except writing on the blog. 

Inside heart and restless soul and outside smile has started to die. What king, tiger, fighter, and coward person would do taking toward the final destination. 

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