A Deserted Soul

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       Nobody trusts her. She doesn’t trust anybody. She has lost creditability and reliability. She loves Ahmed a lot, but she got betrayed. She left abandoned who used to swear upon on Allah and on girls that he will never leave her alone. He has made a promise but also broke it right away. It was all her fault because she has given him the first place before God and everybody on this earth. She used to think that love and feeling both written before birth. That is why she had waited so long for him. He promised to give her happiness. He hated when Sara used to cry. Ahmed used to become so restless, so he promised with Sara to give her everything which she never had in her life. Instead of keeping his promise, he took everything away which Sara used to have it.
       Sara looks far away from her window. Sun starts to shine but she was gone so deep in the clouds, so it will never come up. She cried so loudly while sitting in her car. She loudly screamed. Her tears were dripping down a waterfall. She had sacrificed him. All she was indeed of corresponding with her love through email or text message, but everything was snatched away from her in a couple of seconds. She always proud of him. People used to see the brightness in her eyes whenever she talked about Ahmed. I wonder why she avoids the situation now. Her co-workers stopped talking about him because the blast was so powerful that everybody could hear it even, she had not said a single word. She did not attempt to hide because the reality was clearly and loudly written on her face and eyes. Unexpected and untimely tears which shed from her eyes had explained the entire world that her world had been ended.
       People scared talking to her because of they afraid she might ask about the well-being of her coward love. She did not mean to make him shameful; however, one day is supposed to end this way. Nobody could change God’s desire. She meant to stay alone and live alone, then die alone.
Sara was abandoned because Ahmed knew what the heck she would do. He was right except crying she could not do it. Sometimes, she thinks she should listen to him and lie about everything. However, now she lost everything, but she debates whether she should continue walking on the path of honesty and reality or she should always lie. Her life has become colorless and desireless. Her brain is full of many questions, but her heart is empty. She never wanted to be alone but it is a God’s desire so she cannot go against his well.
       Sara’s mood changes frequently. She cannot decide what is right or wrong for others including herself. She tries to find the meaning of her life. What is her life? People she trusted and loved once has cost the greatest destruction in her life. What has left in her life? All the thieves are gone. The only old boring wise man has left who never communicate with her, but she just keeps writing to him whatever comes to her mind. Sometimes she decides to stop talking to the old man but then she starts again. She has lost in her space. Her decision-making and judgment capacity have completely impaired. Her brain is numb. She feels both rejected and dejected. Often, she looks toward the sky attempting to find answers to many questions.
       It takes a lot when a woman shares her love story with the pictures on social media. No, she never wants to take revenge from him. She was just trying to shake the soul of her love. She was trying to wake him up. She tried to tell him, “Wake up. I need you. I feel alone in this world”. Here the woman is not Bewafa or scared. She just tried to find the truth. Sometimes, she thinks it is just a nightmare because her bubby could never leave her alone. The truth was so painful which has made her forget the definition of truth and even the sensation of pain.

       Sitting in the window with a broken heart and empty look but full of tears eyes, she tries to find the meaning of her life and soul love. Her mind and trust are shattered. She is a deserted and lone soul who want to leave and join the rest of the crew, but she has lost her path too. She lives in her self-made cave or modern prison without interacting with anybody. The blog and the old man are only her friends. Neither blog nor the old man talk back to her or ask any question from her. Nobody asks if she is pain or how she feel, or she needs anything. She is confused and waiting for the old man to hold her finger so she can get up, but the old man has his own belief and morals which she fears to break.

to be continued.

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