Paying The Price

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                                              Sara Says

    In this paragraph, Sara tells Ahmed, “My pain and sadness will stay with me for the rest of my life. Neither my tears nor my pain will be lessened. Time won’t make any difference because you are not only my love, but you are my soul. You are meant everything and everybody to me. I have waited for you for years and years. I love you more than anything. People say I love you more than my children. You are my life. I have learned from you how to live and enjoy life. Once you had returned my lost smile which you took it away forever. Before I met you, I was not happy, but I was not sad either. I did have a small world. I was satisfied in my little world. Why you have destroyed my little world?”
      Sara says, “I am a survivor of physical abuse domestic violence. Seven years of marriage were a hell. It was worse than hell. I could not die because I had hope. The hope of the joy of being a mom. I kept myself alive. I had seen a hell for seven years. Good learning lesson to the parents, don’t send your children to foreign countries without their permission. As being an Indian, the reputation of the family was the biggest thing, so I kept all the abuse to myself. Every day, I just used to look around with tears in my eyes. Nobody was around to support me except my beautiful mother-in-law. However, there is somebody above everyone which is known as “GOD” came to rescue me. Being Widow at age of 26 years old with two beautiful and adorable kids, I had fought at each step of my life.
      I had started my life from scratch alone without begging or asking anybody’s help. Yes, the journey was not easy being a single mother without any social support. However, I had become so strong. A single mother, full-time student and a full-time job as a paramedic, I never had given up. There was the only thing in mind: nothing is impossible. I even don’t remember when I had received my doctorate and then specialty in an emergency and trauma as well in critical care.
      I was too busy with my job, study, and raising kids. I had become a victim to survivor and the example to the young generation. There were hope and a dream which kept me going. Far away in a valley, my half soul was waiting for me. Both of us responsible for falling in love. No, doubt he loved me or pretend to love me that I have forgotten everything. The life experience has taught me a lot. I had learned a lot but not at the cost of my self-respect or self-dignity. I lived in the same neighborhood for 10 years and nobody had seen me. My life was limited to only my four thieves. My journey from East to West ended up as a learning lesson for myself and others. However, I still cannot recall certain years of my life, but I never have forgotten the principles which my father had taught me before he died.
      I have learned tolerance and not to be jealous. I had become prone to stress. Nobody has seen me overwhelmed. It didn’t matter how stressful my job was but no way if any stress touched me.
Being a mother of two grounded children, an adorable dog, and my man, I thought I am the luckiest person on this earth. I have forgotten my hard days. My daughter and my man both called me: My Lady.
      I don’t have to repeat how much he loved me or pretend or what. It will be a mystery to me. I am not anymore interested to know.
Yes, he took me to the hell road again. He has given me humiliation. He has made me beg. He took my dignity and self-respect. A woman who never stepped out of her house, she invaded entire India and 1/2 of neighbor country. People have mistreated me. They insulted me. I have tolerated everything because my love put me in this situation.
     He has shown me lots of dreams. He made me his soul wife remembering Allah. Either he is not true Muslim or coward. The truth never hides. It always comes out.
      How would he pay the price of my tears and heartaches and loud screaming? No there is no way he could do it.
      I am dying because of him. He has killed my soul. He has shattered my dream. He has destroyed my little world. he has made me so helpless and hopeless. Because of Ahmed, I was judged, and being judged. I have lost everything my health, personal and professional life. A wise man thinks I am not trustworthy and loyal because I still love Ahmed. The wise man is right. My love and feeling for Ahmed have shut down my future completely.

Yes, I have to pay the price of loving a coward and dishonest man. 

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